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So much is expected of children today and so soon. Not only do parents expect them to make good grades, but also to be well liked by classmates, physically adept, computer literate, and to shine in a particular area such as music or dance. To achieve these ends, extra curricular activities often begin in the preschool years. It's common for three- and four-year-olds to take ballet, gymnastics, and even a martial arts class.

by Lauren Bradway, Ph.D.
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Parents wear their schedules like a badge, proudly informing other parents, "there's just not enough time in the day," and "I spend all my time in the car--we have something scheduled every day after school."

Not only are children these days overbooked with activities, there's little or no time for rest and relaxation in between. It's common for children to go directly from school to after school appointments without a rest period and with only a quick snack in the car like a pop tart and a soft drink.

Only parents can restore to our children the free time they've lost. Let's remind ourselves of the benefits of "down time."

The physical body requires time to rest and restore itself, and children are individual in their need for rest.

Stilling the mind during periods of quiet results in increased ability to focus one's attention and concentrate. Children who are constantly bombarded with input often have difficulty attending in classroom situations, because their attention is being drawn everywhere.

It's well known that the most creative individuals--artists, writers, and inventors--regularly spend time in meditation or periods of reverie. These periods often precede bursts of creative ideas.

It's during the quiet times that we're able to reflect and get to know ourselves. What do we think about certain issues? What are our feelings about individuals and situations? It's during times alone that we get to know the most important person in our life, our own self.

Children need time to daydream, to imagine alternate futures for themselves. Daydreaming allows us to fantasize about what we might be without the consequences of taking action.

Periods of quiet allow a child at an early age to begin to listen to the still small voice within. Encouraging children to seek guidance from within is one of the most priceless of gifts.

How can parents go about restoring a natural rhythm to our busy days? Here are some immediate things we can do:

Make a stand. Determine to cut back on weekly commitments even if your child objects at first.

Refuse to schedule anything that conflicts with the family dinner hour. This should be a sacred time for sharing and support.

Plan no more than one extra curricular activity during the school year and let your child choose which that will be.

After school, allow some time for talking on the phone with friends, having a snack, or listening to music before homework is begun.

Occasionally skip a soccer game or piano lesson when a child comes home from school tired or has a test to study for.

Leave a weekend free with absolutely nothing scheduled. Sleep in on Saturday morning and do nothing in particular for the rest of the day.

Turn off the television set and get out in nature together. Take an unhurried bike ride or a hike in the woods.

Before a family vacation, allow your child plenty of time to plan and dream about the trip and some time off following to reflect and remember.

Most important, make it clear to your child that you respect his or her natural rhythm and you trust that homework and chores will be done on his or her own inner timetable, which may not be exactly like your own. It's up to us as parents to get our children off the fast track. Too much frantic activity coupled with too little time to rest and renew oneself can only lead to stress and burnout and to loss of touch with the inner self.

Dr. Lauren Bradway is the author of How to Maximize Your Child's Learning Ability (Avery Publishing Group, Garden City Park, New York). It's available at www.amazon.com.